Dating tips for younger Hill who dated for marriage

Funny story, for the past years I’ve been delaying and holding myself back from meeting the man of my dreams. I think when I’m looking for someone I am looking for someone to marry.

It became more and more difficult as the man of my dreams turned out to be a complete d*ck. It almost felt impossible to find the one.

I think in those times I couldn’t figure out a way to date or find a partnership that would satisfy all my needs. I’ve seen so many fulfilling and nurturing relationships and I constantly ask them how do they manage to do something like that. I always wish the best for them, and admire the work and efforts they both put it.

Dont get me wrong, I’m happy to meet as friends. Whatever that looks like to you, but once I’ve decided that this is no longer serving me. I’m pretty set on it.

One of my proudest moments was when a boy from AGES reached out to me and hit me up after almost half of a decade (jk it was 3 years to be more accurate) and just said hi out of the blue.

I was done. LIVID. Although I enjoyed him coming back to me after dating this random girl, I didn’t have the same patience or respect I had for him anymore. I no longer made excuses for him. I no longer tolerated his actions and behavior and told him to stop messaging me.

Thankfully he complied and I still think about this man occasionally but no malice intended. I’m glad and grateful to have had that initial experience anyways.

Finally when I met a man who seemed so close to the man of my dreams. (there was a caveat I will not disclose) And I also got broken up because of scheduling conflict.

Little to my knowledge did I experience the other end of it. I didn’t have the courage or the vocabulary to communicate how I felt with my partners. I waited until they broke up with me and pointed out my flaws. I wasn’t offended. I was actually really delighted to see someone speak up. I learned and in turn realize that my mistake is no longer undoable.

If I learned anything from the partner who broke up with me, it would be to listen to their needs. Take them seriously, and not for granted. Because of the scheduling conflict, and quick cancelations, I burned the brakes fast.

I was constantly putting them down, I also admitted to my mistakes, and I realize I wasn’t suited for them. They deserved better and I felt terrible for not being able to be that person for them, but it was literal truth. I know that I was hurting them, I didn’t listen, and we both decided to be friends with them afterwards. I appreciate them for knowing what I like and don’t like and I think by doing this I’m learning that I can communicate with little to no consequences because we’re always learning.

If there were any consequences that happened, at least I can say that I really did try. I thought that breaking up the partnership will serve me well, and I’m really glad I made that decision to pull through on it. I like to think of it as:

rejection is redirection!!

Ever since I had done that, it opened a window for me to meet other folks and respectable people that I enjoy being around and I liked so so much that I could do my laundry, pet a cat, walk around the house without being tentative and just simply enjoy myself without waiting for the other shoe to drop.

It almost feels like the roles are reverse. In almost many not all of my experiences men have been taking advantage of me and I allowed them. I was too afraid to speak up and I complied.

So ladies, if you learned anything from this… know your worth. You are very lucky for any guy to have you. There are a lot of men who suck out there.