Follow your Dreams

I dream of healing the little girl within me. I hope to bring happiness and greatness to myself despite the failed trials I’ve had.

I will continue to fail, I will comfort my hurt inner child and I will blame no one but focus on how can I move forward given things out of my control.

What makes me happy, what is successful?

Do I really have to change the world? Do I want to be in the eye of the publicity?

Do I just want ever-supporting friends that I already have?

I am grateful for having my friends who call and talk to me and I know exactly what they want and what they are thinking.

It’s an unsaid connection of finding your own community.

I will always check in with you if you are coming to me for support, and ask how would you like me to support you.

How will you guide this conversation? I will let you determine the outcome.

I know it comes in ebbs and flows. Right now I am the follower, and I am not the leader in this dance of life. I constantly defy the leader and want to dance at my own pace and flock around.

Let me be that woman who arrived in Sweden unknowingly became my inner spirit. A woman who skipped around the maypole with me on Midsummer. I believe my connection with the world is higher in value. I don’t need to worry about money- money will find ways to support me. I know each country has its own journey and magic.

I may not be able to afford a ticket home, but I can always make my space home. Sometime home isn’t where my love ones are but home is within myself.

I am currently typing to escape this daunting life I live here and the system I’ve been put in. I do what I’m told and complete what I can.

But I got here given I guessed on problems in elementary school — I didn’t care for anything but the experience I was having. I liked the gum we got to chew, and how the teacher took extra care of us on those days because we were expected to perform our best. I was just excited to get more goldfish on my napkin.

Oh the innocent life I lived as a child, and what I would do to make sure I can relive it once again for myself as an adult.

I don’t need to be fancy in a suit, I don’t need to make a trillion dollars and attend every class. I just need to show up and it will fall all into place. I believe I have what it takes and I will gradually do what I need to do to make ends meet while taking care of my own well being.

So please follow your dreams before someone else determines your life for you.